“We feel that….” This is probably the most annoying combination of words humanly possible. It’s incredibly common to hear business people say it in representation of a corporation when what the truly mean is “What we plan to….” or “The decision we’ve come to is….”, and therefore, I give them a pass. But it’s an entirely different matter altogether to hear that prelude from someone in a relationship, someone who has either temporarily or permanently declared themselves the spokesperson for the couple.
The reality is, as many ways as there are to communicate with our fellow human beings, emotions are an intensely personal and solitary thing. Even if two people are in fact thinking and feeling the same thing at any given moment, the intensity with which they each feel it and all subsequent thoughts and actions fueled by said emotion are most certainly not the same.
It is incredibly important to remember that part of respecting a person is to respect not only the words they say, but the things that they don’t say, to respect the silence and anything it may hold. To assume that one’s emotions mirror your own and/or make declaration of another’s feelings is a violation of their person-hood and their thoughts. Communication, in all forms, is beautiful because it removes the need or desire to assume how others think and feel. They can show or tell us, and from that point onward, our duty is to either trust in that individual or distrust and act accordingly. The words we speak to one another are beautiful because they either reveal truth or reveal treacherous character. Don’t deprive others of that opportunity. Don’t deprive yourself.