Peeling Layers

I both relish and loathe the obligatory act of peeling layers, of getting to know someone. When I meet someone new, someone interesting with whom I find myself intellectually compatible, someone who could become a friend, I am simultaneously overwhelmed with both curiosity and fear.

And that fear is never of what I may learn about them, but rather that, after growing to like or even love this person, something about who I am will turn them away, and I’ll lose them, all because I felt the need to peel and peel and peel and allow myself to feel so much in the first place, exposing both them and myself to the harsh light of scrutiny. Because not caring is so much easier that allowing yourself to feel for someone and being ultimately rejected. But caring and having it reciprocated, for any length of time, is so much sweeter than being alone.

Oh, the conundrum…

3 thoughts on “Peeling Layers

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